Return of the Grump: Accounting

There are many things in the world that lack any sort of sense. First and foremost amongst these is the dark art of economics and the numerology of accounting.  To some out there, this may sound like a cruel statement, but allow me to give you a basic understanding of how I feel.

First, let’s say that you have three apples you want to sell. You manage to sell one for $2 and eat another. How much money did you earn? If you were to look at this from a straight forward perspective, the answer would have to be $2. The end result of this answer would be an ‘F.’

Why do you ask? Because you forgot to factor in some of the most basic concepts. The apples cost 25 cents each, and you must pay this no matter what. There is also a sales tax of 3.21%. A worm was also found in one of the apples, which forced you to take off 15% of the price on the apple you ate. Oh yeah, and the apple you sold is a recurring sale, which means that you must deduct 2% from the end price for every time that that same person perchased an apple from you. That number of times can be determined by the equation x = 0iy, where ‘y’ equals the base height of the customer.

Also, 45 of the pennies you had were really fairy eggs that hatched shortly after business hours and ate the last apple and robbed $420 from you (how could you forget that part, seriously?). You shall never find the answer.

This, THIS is why, in my opinion, it would be much easier to go back to trading pigs. Then you can just squabble about how valuable the pig is based upon how many apples it ate.

EDIT: My brother, The-Thing-From-The -Realm-Where-The -Impossible-Works, has also informed that there is an egregious mistake in my answer. The discounts should be applied BEFORE the taxes.

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