Be Glad I’m not Evil

One day, I was walking through Walmart when I came across a peculiar advertisement. It was for gum, so naturally, the model was holding a stick (yes, of gum) in her hand. However, I couldn’t help but notice that she was also carrying a yoga mat in the other arm.

That led me to wonder what message the advertisers were trying to convey. That’s when a devilish voice bubble from the bowels of my heart.

And I said, “No, I shall never do such wicked a thing!”

The voice bubbled back, “Don’t be so idealistic, join me on the dark side. People aren’t to swallow the gum anyways.”

“Begone!” I cried to the foul side of my heart while making the sign of the cross. The personal demon then bellowed loudly before finally desintegrating into the form of a sulphorous burp. For reasons I have yet to understand, I was kindly asked to leave the store. I chose not to fight and left. After all, I’d just done by good deed for the day and saved everyone from an evil me.

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